The Results are In(disputable)

The results are in, and the stonking majority view is that pre-production pre-orders are the way to address the new royalty reality imposed by the audiobook platforms.
So that’s what we’re doing. The next title will be offered as a pre-production pre-order, meaning that production will start when we’ve raised the funds and, in the laughingly unlikely case that we fail to do so, everyone gets their money back.
Early backers will get the finished book months before everyone else for less than a month of Audible, along with bonus bits and baubles for those who’d like to help reach the goal early.

Pre-product store

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Ancillary to the poll was the strongly expressed view that, not only should I be selling audiobooks directly, but I’m a bit of a thimblewit for not doing so already. So in addition to direct pre-orders for pending projects, there’s now a bookstore from which you can directly order existing Anty Boisjoly audiobooks.
Keen mathematicians among you will note that the first four books of the Anty Boisjoly series are missing. This is because, in my capacity as aforementioned thimblewit, I sold the audiobook rights to the first four titles to a nice man in a trench coat. When this arrangement expires I will a) fix the date error in the narration of The Case of the Canterfell Codicil that’s been keeping me up nights and b) make all titles available. In the meantime, I hope you’ll join me in a hand of Skip the Middleman for the audiobooks current and pending.

Audiobook Store!

Anty Boisjoly Number 11: Massacre at Market Middling

No sooner has the over-trusting Anty been wiled into judging a flower show in the biscuit-tin village of Market Middling than the chief suspect in a serial nobbling of the competition is found murdered in a room locked from the inside.

And no sooner than that is Inspector Wittersham on the scene investigating an altogether different murder on board a train in, by one of those coincidences that happen every six months or so, a compartment that was locked from the inside.

Massacre at Market Middling 

Massacre at Market Middling is available now and already recording records for redness and ripeness of herring hosting, as it does, two completely separate investigations, two victims, two impossible sets of circumstances, and two full galleries of Anty’s most eccentric suspects ever.

 

Anty Boisjoly Number 11 COVER REVEAL

When Anty Boisjoly is snookered into judging a flower show in more than just an excuse to have an art nouveau cover, the chief suspect in a comprehensive nobbling of the competition is found murdered in a room locked from the inside.

Simultaneously, Inspector Wittersham is investigating an altogether different murder on board a train in, by one of those coincidences that happen every six months or so, a compartment that was locked from the inside.

Massacre at Market Middling is finally finished but for a spritz of water and maybe a snapdragon stem or two, and newsletter subscribers will shortly be receiving the pre-order link they’ll have been anticipating since seeing this cover reveal fully four weeks ago.

If you’d like to be kept similarly on the edge of expectation, there’s still time to sign up for the newsletter ☞

Procrastination bibliography

Often in my imaginary future as a celebrity novelist I’m asked about my process, and how it is that I so tightly weave the complementary causes of research and procrastination. The answer is deceptively simple; quality source material.

Reading better writers is never a bad idea (unless you’re Dickens — if you’re Dickens your options are Shakespeare or getting drunk and reading Dickens) and so I always have at least a Christie and a Wodehouse and a Dickens on rotation. The syllabus shifts a bit when I’m researching distilling or golf or horse racing or, as in the case of Monet for Nothing, the third Teddy Quillfeather, the Lost Generation in Paris of the 1920s. 

Anyone who’s read my books or even this article knows that I don’t aspire to Hemingway’s economy of language, but I recognise the easy charisma of his writing and subscribe entirely to his belief in the mot juste; I’ll happily spend a day searching for the right word if the current placeholder is merely evocative and accurate but has too few or too many syllables for the rhythm of the sentence. So it was a pleasure to justify revisiting A Moveable Feast, a celebration of Paris and the era and the work of a great writer that also happened to function as excellent research for a book in which Gertrude Stein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Les Deux Magots, and Hemingway himself make an appearance.

I also re-read That Summer in Paris by Morley Callaghan, the sourcewaters of the now entrenched view of Hemingway as maker of his own mythology in the boxing and bull rings, with which I have such fun making fun, now he’s not here to challenge me to put the gloves on.

However I enjoyed and learned the most from a book and author who for me was a new discovery; Paris Was Our Mistress by Sam Putnam is an erudite, affectionate, informed biography of a decade. Putnam’s fame is principally that his was the first modern-language translation of Quixote, but it was his role as editor and journalist in Paris in the 1920s that afforded him access to the personalities and pertinent places of the day, and the book includes his interviews with Hemingway, Picasso, Stein, and Pirandello, and his first-hand impressions of Cocteau, Madox Ford, Joyce, Pound, Surrealism, Cubism, Communism, Imagism, Aestheticism, and pernod.

I learned a great deal from Paris Was Our Mistress, such as the fact that, in the view of Gertrude Stein, I’m lazy; “My prose is obscure only to the lazy-minded. It is a well, a deep well, well it is like a well and that is well.” She certainly has my number.

Which I hope goes some distance in undoing the impression possibly given above that Monet for Nothing, if it’s not obvious from the title, is a stiff study of Left Bank intellectualism and high art — nothing could be further from the truth. Monet for Nothing is a simple heist comedy backdropped by a fondly researched parody.

In the interests of fullness, here’s the full research bibliography for Monet for Nothing, but quite frankly many and even most of them were chosen less for suitability than obtainability, and the only titles that I’d recommend to a friend are A Moveable Feast and Paris Was Our Mistress (although in that case I wouldn’t so much recommend as insist).

Being Geniuses Together, Kay Boyle and Robert McAlmon
Dateline Toronto, Ernest Hemingway
Exiles Return, Malcolm Cowley
A Guide to Hemingway’s Paris, John Lela
A Moveable Feast, Ernest Hemingway
Paris Was Our Mistress, Sam Putnam
That Summer in Paris, Morley Callaghan
When Paris Sizzled, Mary McAuliffe

A Novel Giveaway

Between now and Christmas a new newsletter is going out with a novel giveaway just for subscribers and their friends and frenemies.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, you can get in on it right now by signing up here…

This also means that there’s a new old newsletter in the archive, found just beneath the newsletter signup form, in case you missed it the first time.

The Anty Boisjoly/Teddy Quillfeather Newsletter is back, and it’s ‘bout the same as ever!

A positively bursting new newsletter just went out to informed insiders, which means there’s also a new old newsletter in the archive.

Rich and rewarding as it is, it’s not fresh news, so why not sign up to get the newsletters as soon as they hatch?

Anty Boisjoly No. 10!

The subtly-titled mottle of misdirection and missed detection returns to where it all started ten mysteries ago when none other than Anty’s friendly rival Inspector Wittersham is the only suspect in a locked-room murder in the ancient earldom of Fray.

Of course Anty doesn’t believe for a second that Inspector Wittersham murdered a prisoner locked in a cell to which only he had the key, but the more twists and secrets and hidden treasure he digs up, the more evidence he finds that proves Wittersham guilty.

To save his friend, Anty must draw on his judgemental mum, woolly valet, a constable named Constable, a goat of dubious loyalties, endless eccentrics, and his own depths of wit and anecdote as he delves deeply into the history of medieval England and the dark mysteries of his own family.

Safe Harbour

There’s another new newsletter in the archive.

I say new, but it’s new rather in the way a washing up liquid is new and improved, which is to say not at all. This number dates back to April and even then it was meant to be the February edition, delayed and then delayed again while powers greater than I struggled and ultimately succeeded in keeping the audiobook of Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast from appearing on Audible.

But the little vessel fought bravely back with a fearless strategy of wandering blindly and wondering idly, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, we abandoned the distributor and signed up with another and, three weeks later, the audiobook of Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast is available on all platforms.

To find your favourite among them, have a click…

Oo ‘arr

Theres a new newsletter, finally, in the archives, which means that the latest number has been sent out to subscribers after an unprecedented but unsurprising delay while we meditated and sacrificed a perfectly good bottle of Merlot and a nights sleep in supplication to the sacred, secret rites by which an audiobook somehow makes it onto Audible.

Which is not to say that Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast has been anointed after fully eight weeks, we just got tired of waiting, and also recalled that last time we whinged in print about Audible looking at the horizon and pretending not to see us Foreboding Foretelling at Ficklehouse Felling was made available the next day. Maybe itll work again.

The good news is that the eighth Anty Boisjoly audiobook, the one in which Tim Bruce finally gets to do his pirate voice, parrot and all, is available everywhere that isn’t Audible.