Anty Boisjoly Number 11 COVER REVEAL

When Anty Boisjoly is snookered into judging a flower show in more than just an excuse to have an art nouveau cover, the chief suspect in a comprehensive nobbling of the competition is found murdered in a room locked from the inside.

Simultaneously, Inspector Wittersham is investigating an altogether different murder on board a train in, by one of those coincidences that happen every six months or so, a compartment that was locked from the inside.

Massacre at Market Middling is finally finished but for a spritz of water and maybe a snapdragon stem or two, and newsletter subscribers will shortly be receiving the pre-order link they’ll have been anticipating since seeing this cover reveal fully four weeks ago.

If you’d like to be kept similarly on the edge of expectation, there’s still time to sign up for the newsletter ☞

Procrastination bibliography

Often in my imaginary future as a celebrity novelist I’m asked about my process, and how it is that I so tightly weave the complementary causes of research and procrastination. The answer is deceptively simple; quality source material.

Reading better writers is never a bad idea (unless you’re Dickens — if you’re Dickens your options are Shakespeare or getting drunk and reading Dickens) and so I always have at least a Christie and a Wodehouse and a Dickens on rotation. The syllabus shifts a bit when I’m researching distilling or golf or horse racing or, as in the case of Monet for Nothing, the third Teddy Quillfeather, the Lost Generation in Paris of the 1920s. 

Anyone who’s read my books or even this article knows that I don’t aspire to Hemingway’s economy of language, but I recognise the easy charisma of his writing and subscribe entirely to his belief in the mot juste; I’ll happily spend a day searching for the right word if the current placeholder is merely evocative and accurate but has too few or too many syllables for the rhythm of the sentence. So it was a pleasure to justify revisiting A Moveable Feast, a celebration of Paris and the era and the work of a great writer that also happened to function as excellent research for a book in which Gertrude Stein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Les Deux Magots, and Hemingway himself make an appearance.

I also re-read That Summer in Paris by Morley Callaghan, the sourcewaters of the now entrenched view of Hemingway as maker of his own mythology in the boxing and bull rings, with which I have such fun making fun, now he’s not here to challenge me to put the gloves on.

However I enjoyed and learned the most from a book and author who for me was a new discovery; Paris Was Our Mistress by Sam Putnam is an erudite, affectionate, informed biography of a decade. Putnam’s fame is principally that his was the first modern-language translation of Quixote, but it was his role as editor and journalist in Paris in the 1920s that afforded him access to the personalities and pertinent places of the day, and the book includes his interviews with Hemingway, Picasso, Stein, and Pirandello, and his first-hand impressions of Cocteau, Madox Ford, Joyce, Pound, Surrealism, Cubism, Communism, Imagism, Aestheticism, and pernod.

I learned a great deal from Paris Was Our Mistress, such as the fact that, in the view of Gertrude Stein, I’m lazy; “My prose is obscure only to the lazy-minded. It is a well, a deep well, well it is like a well and that is well.” She certainly has my number.

Which I hope goes some distance in undoing the impression possibly given above that Monet for Nothing, if it’s not obvious from the title, is a stiff study of Left Bank intellectualism and high art — nothing could be further from the truth. Monet for Nothing is a simple heist comedy backdropped by a fondly researched parody.

In the interests of fullness, here’s the full research bibliography for Monet for Nothing, but quite frankly many and even most of them were chosen less for suitability than obtainability, and the only titles that I’d recommend to a friend are A Moveable Feast and Paris Was Our Mistress (although in that case I wouldn’t so much recommend as insist).

Being Geniuses Together, Kay Boyle and Robert McAlmon
Dateline Toronto, Ernest Hemingway
Exiles Return, Malcolm Cowley
A Guide to Hemingway’s Paris, John Lela
A Moveable Feast, Ernest Hemingway
Paris Was Our Mistress, Sam Putnam
That Summer in Paris, Morley Callaghan
When Paris Sizzled, Mary McAuliffe

A Novel Giveaway

Between now and Christmas a new newsletter is going out with a novel giveaway just for subscribers and their friends and frenemies.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, you can get in on it right now by signing up here…

This also means that there’s a new old newsletter in the archive, found just beneath the newsletter signup form, in case you missed it the first time.

The Anty Boisjoly/Teddy Quillfeather Newsletter is back, and it’s ‘bout the same as ever!

A positively bursting new newsletter just went out to informed insiders, which means there’s also a new old newsletter in the archive.

Rich and rewarding as it is, it’s not fresh news, so why not sign up to get the newsletters as soon as they hatch?

Anty Boisjoly No. 10!

The subtly-titled mottle of misdirection and missed detection returns to where it all started ten mysteries ago when none other than Anty’s friendly rival Inspector Wittersham is the only suspect in a locked-room murder in the ancient earldom of Fray.

Of course Anty doesn’t believe for a second that Inspector Wittersham murdered a prisoner locked in a cell to which only he had the key, but the more twists and secrets and hidden treasure he digs up, the more evidence he finds that proves Wittersham guilty.

To save his friend, Anty must draw on his judgemental mum, woolly valet, a constable named Constable, a goat of dubious loyalties, endless eccentrics, and his own depths of wit and anecdote as he delves deeply into the history of medieval England and the dark mysteries of his own family.

Safe Harbour

There’s another new newsletter in the archive.

I say new, but it’s new rather in the way a washing up liquid is new and improved, which is to say not at all. This number dates back to April and even then it was meant to be the February edition, delayed and then delayed again while powers greater than I struggled and ultimately succeeded in keeping the audiobook of Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast from appearing on Audible.

But the little vessel fought bravely back with a fearless strategy of wandering blindly and wondering idly, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, we abandoned the distributor and signed up with another and, three weeks later, the audiobook of Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast is available on all platforms.

To find your favourite among them, have a click…

Oo ‘arr

Theres a new newsletter, finally, in the archives, which means that the latest number has been sent out to subscribers after an unprecedented but unsurprising delay while we meditated and sacrificed a perfectly good bottle of Merlot and a nights sleep in supplication to the sacred, secret rites by which an audiobook somehow makes it onto Audible.

Which is not to say that Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast has been anointed after fully eight weeks, we just got tired of waiting, and also recalled that last time we whinged in print about Audible looking at the horizon and pretending not to see us Foreboding Foretelling at Ficklehouse Felling was made available the next day. Maybe itll work again.

The good news is that the eighth Anty Boisjoly audiobook, the one in which Tim Bruce finally gets to do his pirate voice, parrot and all, is available everywhere that isn’t Audible.

The Sun Never Sets On Blandings

On Valentine’s Day, 1975 at the age of 93, PG Wodehouse had the best of all possible ends.

He passed away surrounded by the notes for what would be the last but was at the time his next Blandings novel. It was never completed, at least not in the traditional sense.

I cherish this book, though. Not because it’s the best Wodehouse nor even the best Blandings (that would be Leave it to Psmith, 1923) but because it’s not — it’s something more and it’s something else, because it’s a snapshot of the master at work and because of the affectionate form in which it was eventually published.

The story is a warmly familiar reunion of the Blandings ensemble and devices, slightly rearranged for a new narrative toot. Lord Emsworth is immediately on hand to be oppressed by a sister (Florence, in this case) with particular respect to the Empress of Blandings whose portrait His Lordship is still trying to have painted. A niece has been confined to Blandings to keep her from the penniless artist she loves who is, obviously, introduced into the castle by Galahad in the guise of a gifted and passionate painter of pigs.

Then, just as the machinations are assembled and cranked up to speed, they hit the wall. Very suddenly and very poignantly the story stops and so does PG Wodehouse.

Taking the wise and obvious and only course, the publishers elected not to engage another writer to try to finish the book. Instead, Wodehouse biographer and scholar Richard Usborne collated the considerable notes, transcriptions, and annotations, and employed them to edit that which Wodehouse had completed into what he estimates to be the first sixteen of an eventual twenty-two chapters, and essay a very informed and informal guess at how the story might have played out. 

This is borne out in the next section, composed of selected notes, transcribed, and marking the point at which Sunset at Blandings becomes more of an artefact for the enthusiast. 

This is followed, in descending order of interest to even the enthusiast, with speculative floor and grounds plans of Blandings Castle, predicated on rather a lot of pedantic study and preceded by the observation that Wodehouse himself would have found the exercise a bewildering use of time.

True to the spotting swotting in which Usborne clearly delights, next stop is the trains. Every express, omnibus, and milk train that Wodehouse ever sent between London and Blandings is painstakingly inspected in an effort to isolate a clue to the location of the real Blandings. It doesn’t, for the same reason that a careful analysis of the work of J. M. Barrie wouldn’t render up directions to the real Neverland, but these fanciful memories and minutiae, along with the extensive footnotes, serve as happy vignettes of Blandings on rotation — a way to revisit the old place without wearing out our welcome. 

Throughout, Usborne takes sharp pains to demonstrate that and how Sunset at Blandings would have been a better book had Wodehouse only been allowed to complete it. This is self-evident, but I was surprised at the degree of detail that remained undecided, and the amount of writing Wodehouse had done that he was going to have to change. I was much more surprised, though, by the near total absence of prose notes. Very clearly, Wodehouse was going to polish the text on the second pass, but there’s no denying that what we have so far is composed mainly of recycled material and flat drafting.

In fact the best line not written is given to, of all characters, Bertie Wooster, in a tantalising alternate plot in which, finally, he and Jeeves would have visited Blandings,

“Will you marry me? Not immediately of course. When we have had time to assemble a clergyman or two.”

So it’s no great stretch to imagine that Plumb’s final act in this world was to form one last, laughing, lyrical line, and then pass along with a smile on his face. We don’t get to read it, though, and that’s only right — the absence of an ending to Sunset at Blandings is the perfect poetic ending for its architect — of course Blandings doesn’t end. Blandings can’t end.

Sunset at Blandings isn’t a great book but it’s a memorable, important, linchpin — it’s where the circle joins.

It’s tempting to wonder if Wodehouse suspected this might be the ultimate role of this book, in light of the most meaningful line that did make it into the draft, spoken by Galahad,

“The great thing about Blandings is that it never changes.”

Frauds on Favourite Is At the Gate

Teddy Quillfeather’s second outing is finally out on February 14th.

Teddy’s off to the races in this multi-layered multiplier mystery of dark horses and dodgy courses, pawky jockeys, unstable stables, impossible odds, crooked bookies, and a track-wide conspiracy to deny the punter an even chance. That’s more than enough to invite a counter-con from Teddy, but when the family paddock is implicated in race-fixing, she does what she does best when the odds go against her — she raises the stakes.

The official census is still being compiled, but Frauds on Favourite is almost certainly the largest cast yet assembled under a single Boisjoly/Quillfeather banner, even without including the horses and chickens, and there are definitely record numbers of horses and chickens.