The Results are In(disputable)

The results are in, and the stonking majority view is that pre-production pre-orders are the way to address the new royalty reality imposed by the audiobook platforms.
So that’s what we’re doing. The next title will be offered as a pre-production pre-order, meaning that production will start when we’ve raised the funds and, in the laughingly unlikely case that we fail to do so, everyone gets their money back.
Early backers will get the finished book months before everyone else for less than a month of Audible, along with bonus bits and baubles for those who’d like to help reach the goal early.

Pre-product store

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Ancillary to the poll was the strongly expressed view that, not only should I be selling audiobooks directly, but I’m a bit of a thimblewit for not doing so already. So in addition to direct pre-orders for pending projects, there’s now a bookstore from which you can directly order existing Anty Boisjoly audiobooks.
Keen mathematicians among you will note that the first four books of the Anty Boisjoly series are missing. This is because, in my capacity as aforementioned thimblewit, I sold the audiobook rights to the first four titles to a nice man in a trench coat. When this arrangement expires I will a) fix the date error in the narration of The Case of the Canterfell Codicil that’s been keeping me up nights and b) make all titles available. In the meantime, I hope you’ll join me in a hand of Skip the Middleman for the audiobooks current and pending.

Audiobook Store!

Procrastination bibliography

Often in my imaginary future as a celebrity novelist I’m asked about my process, and how it is that I so tightly weave the complementary causes of research and procrastination. The answer is deceptively simple; quality source material.

Reading better writers is never a bad idea (unless you’re Dickens — if you’re Dickens your options are Shakespeare or getting drunk and reading Dickens) and so I always have at least a Christie and a Wodehouse and a Dickens on rotation. The syllabus shifts a bit when I’m researching distilling or golf or horse racing or, as in the case of Monet for Nothing, the third Teddy Quillfeather, the Lost Generation in Paris of the 1920s. 

Anyone who’s read my books or even this article knows that I don’t aspire to Hemingway’s economy of language, but I recognise the easy charisma of his writing and subscribe entirely to his belief in the mot juste; I’ll happily spend a day searching for the right word if the current placeholder is merely evocative and accurate but has too few or too many syllables for the rhythm of the sentence. So it was a pleasure to justify revisiting A Moveable Feast, a celebration of Paris and the era and the work of a great writer that also happened to function as excellent research for a book in which Gertrude Stein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Les Deux Magots, and Hemingway himself make an appearance.

I also re-read That Summer in Paris by Morley Callaghan, the sourcewaters of the now entrenched view of Hemingway as maker of his own mythology in the boxing and bull rings, with which I have such fun making fun, now he’s not here to challenge me to put the gloves on.

However I enjoyed and learned the most from a book and author who for me was a new discovery; Paris Was Our Mistress by Sam Putnam is an erudite, affectionate, informed biography of a decade. Putnam’s fame is principally that his was the first modern-language translation of Quixote, but it was his role as editor and journalist in Paris in the 1920s that afforded him access to the personalities and pertinent places of the day, and the book includes his interviews with Hemingway, Picasso, Stein, and Pirandello, and his first-hand impressions of Cocteau, Madox Ford, Joyce, Pound, Surrealism, Cubism, Communism, Imagism, Aestheticism, and pernod.

I learned a great deal from Paris Was Our Mistress, such as the fact that, in the view of Gertrude Stein, I’m lazy; “My prose is obscure only to the lazy-minded. It is a well, a deep well, well it is like a well and that is well.” She certainly has my number.

Which I hope goes some distance in undoing the impression possibly given above that Monet for Nothing, if it’s not obvious from the title, is a stiff study of Left Bank intellectualism and high art — nothing could be further from the truth. Monet for Nothing is a simple heist comedy backdropped by a fondly researched parody.

In the interests of fullness, here’s the full research bibliography for Monet for Nothing, but quite frankly many and even most of them were chosen less for suitability than obtainability, and the only titles that I’d recommend to a friend are A Moveable Feast and Paris Was Our Mistress (although in that case I wouldn’t so much recommend as insist).

Being Geniuses Together, Kay Boyle and Robert McAlmon
Dateline Toronto, Ernest Hemingway
Exiles Return, Malcolm Cowley
A Guide to Hemingway’s Paris, John Lela
A Moveable Feast, Ernest Hemingway
Paris Was Our Mistress, Sam Putnam
That Summer in Paris, Morley Callaghan
When Paris Sizzled, Mary McAuliffe

The Anty Boisjoly/Teddy Quillfeather Newsletter is back, and it’s ‘bout the same as ever!

A positively bursting new newsletter just went out to informed insiders, which means there’s also a new old newsletter in the archive.

Rich and rewarding as it is, it’s not fresh news, so why not sign up to get the newsletters as soon as they hatch?

Anty Boisjoly No. 10!

The subtly-titled mottle of misdirection and missed detection returns to where it all started ten mysteries ago when none other than Anty’s friendly rival Inspector Wittersham is the only suspect in a locked-room murder in the ancient earldom of Fray.

Of course Anty doesn’t believe for a second that Inspector Wittersham murdered a prisoner locked in a cell to which only he had the key, but the more twists and secrets and hidden treasure he digs up, the more evidence he finds that proves Wittersham guilty.

To save his friend, Anty must draw on his judgemental mum, woolly valet, a constable named Constable, a goat of dubious loyalties, endless eccentrics, and his own depths of wit and anecdote as he delves deeply into the history of medieval England and the dark mysteries of his own family.

Safe Harbour

There’s another new newsletter in the archive.

I say new, but it’s new rather in the way a washing up liquid is new and improved, which is to say not at all. This number dates back to April and even then it was meant to be the February edition, delayed and then delayed again while powers greater than I struggled and ultimately succeeded in keeping the audiobook of Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast from appearing on Audible.

But the little vessel fought bravely back with a fearless strategy of wandering blindly and wondering idly, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, we abandoned the distributor and signed up with another and, three weeks later, the audiobook of Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast is available on all platforms.

To find your favourite among them, have a click…

Oo ‘arr

Theres a new newsletter, finally, in the archives, which means that the latest number has been sent out to subscribers after an unprecedented but unsurprising delay while we meditated and sacrificed a perfectly good bottle of Merlot and a nights sleep in supplication to the sacred, secret rites by which an audiobook somehow makes it onto Audible.

Which is not to say that Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast has been anointed after fully eight weeks, we just got tired of waiting, and also recalled that last time we whinged in print about Audible looking at the horizon and pretending not to see us Foreboding Foretelling at Ficklehouse Felling was made available the next day. Maybe itll work again.

The good news is that the eighth Anty Boisjoly audiobook, the one in which Tim Bruce finally gets to do his pirate voice, parrot and all, is available everywhere that isn’t Audible.

Frauds on Favourite Is At the Gate

Teddy Quillfeather’s second outing is finally out on February 14th.

Teddy’s off to the races in this multi-layered multiplier mystery of dark horses and dodgy courses, pawky jockeys, unstable stables, impossible odds, crooked bookies, and a track-wide conspiracy to deny the punter an even chance. That’s more than enough to invite a counter-con from Teddy, but when the family paddock is implicated in race-fixing, she does what she does best when the odds go against her — she raises the stakes.

The official census is still being compiled, but Frauds on Favourite is almost certainly the largest cast yet assembled under a single Boisjoly/Quillfeather banner, even without including the horses and chickens, and there are definitely record numbers of horses and chickens.

Pre-Christmas Hype (get yours now)

The official pre-Christmas hype edition of the newsletter (aka; November) is now in the newsletter archive, in a convient link just under the form you can use to sign up to get the newsletters as they come off the press.

The Christmas number has just been sent out to subscribers, and it includes a seasonal parody cartoon and a cast list for The Case of the Ghost of Christmas Morning, as mere support matter for the meat of the mail, a cover reveal of the next Teddy Quillfeather.

Foreboding Foretelling Finally Found on Audible

Literally the day after I sent out a newsletter passive-aggressively whingeing about Audible’s delay in releasing Foreboding Foretelling at Ficklehouse Felling, Audible released Foreboding Foretelling at Ficklehouse Felling. It’s nice to know they’re listening.

FFaFF on, Audible

The no-news newsletter makes this newsworthy, but Anty Boisjoly’s seventh stumper has been on most platforms for weeks, for example…

Chirp Barnes and Noble LibroKobo Audiobooks.com

…and there’s a good chance that it’s on your library app.

Foreboding Foretelling at Ficklehouse Felling is Anty’s twistiest mysteriest manor house mystery in history, and it has the largest cast of characters that Tim Bruce has heretofore given voice. Of course it’s another tour de force from Tim, helped only slightly by a cast list, a redacted version of which is in the September newsletter, already available for download in the archive.

While there, why not take the opportunity to subscribe to the newsletter — you’ll immediately get the current issue, which includes a cast list of the first Anty Boisjoly mystery, The Case of the Canterfell Codicil, soon followed by the much-anticipated Christmas edition, featuring two exclusive cartoons and a cover reveal.

New Newsletter Feature

The newsletter archive has another entry and the September number introduces a new feature.

The audiobook version of Foreboding Foretelling at Ficklehouse Felling has been released (almost everywhere — Audible, presumably, is still playing it backwards, listening for subversive messages) in which the action unfolds in a richly and eccentrically populated Cotswolds manor house, and yet Voice-of-Anty Tim Bruce manages to track and trace all the accents and attitudes.

This is because Tim is a professional — a professional who has an annotated text and a cast list provided by the author who, it is widely rumoured, tends to over-share. A clever reader suggested that listeners might appreciate having a similar leg-up, and that the cast list be made available to newsletter subscribers.

Which is the new feature that you’ll find now in the latest newsletter added to the archive. Subscribers know this already, and they’ll also be getting the November newsletter featuring a custom-written cast list of the first Anty Boisjoly, The Case of the Canterfell Codicil, along with new cartoons and exclusive announcements.